


When Our Stars Realign

by MissMonie



Category: Transformers: Prime
Genre: Angst, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-18 23:48:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11885436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissMonie/pseuds/MissMonie
Summary: Sometimes the ghosts of our past haunt us. Other times, they can be our saving grace. When Knock Out needs that kick in the aft, he finds it.





	When Our Stars Realign

Cold moonlight shone across the barren road as the sound of an engine rumbled around the hilltop. It slowed to a dull thrum as the vehicle coasted to a stop at the road edge. Hundreds of feet below, angry waves washed across jagged rocks as the salty sea air filled his vents. Knock Out sat for a moment, his headlights shining across the empty horizon until he finally transformed.

“I think you would have liked this place.” He moved towards the cliff's edge, settling down to let his pedes swing.

The wind answered him with a low whistle in his pointed audial as he stared down at the raging sea. To contrast the water, the sky shone clear and beautiful with millions of glittering stars. His helm tipped back to watch them, and he found himself reclining back on his servos. It was so easy to forget the little things like stargazing or sunsets when you were a high performance creation like him. So simple to forget and blaze right through the slower motions of life. Part of him wished he had learned to take it easy and enjoy the cruise more earlier. Maybe he would have more memories of the sweeter things.

“I think,” his vocalizer clicked several times as he mulled over the thought, “I think I'm starting to hate this planet. Not just the humans, but everything.” He swung his helm to the side, expecting some sort of reply, but when empty air greeted him, he laughed. “What I would give to hear you one more time.”

He vented, long and slow as he lifted a servo to his right audial and pressed down.

 _”Hey, Knock. It's me. Wanted to tell ya I was going off with Dreadwing after Airachnid. This shouldn't take long with Dread. We can go watch that movie you wanted ta see.”_ There was a clatter in the background. _”Well, Dreadwing's here. I'll comm you when we get back.”_ The audio paused a second and muffled voices could be heard before a door shut. _”Well, uh, I love you. See you soon.”_

The clip fizzled into static as Knock Out dropped his servo back onto the dusty ground. His thin claws soon left deep scours in the earth as he felt himself quiver.

“Soon indeed.” He muttered to the wind. “How many fragging times did I tell you to keep your temper in check? How many fragging times did I...” His vocalizer shut off as a nasty sob racked through him. “Primus to the Pit, Breakdown!” He snarled and balled his servos into fists to slam on his knee guards. “You were the only good thing I had going, and you...you...” He bit back the next sob, forcing his helm back to keep the lubricant from spilling down his faceplate. “You left me, too...”

The wind died, leaving the crashing of the waves to echo around him. Why did it hurt so much? Decepticons weren't meant to feel like this. All of the atrocities of war should have drowned those feelings eons ago. He had lost so many friends, and none of them hurt like this. It felt as if he lost part of his spark, and he supposed if he admitted it to himself, he had. 

He hadn't known the second Breakdown returned to the Well. Something felt wrong, but he hadn't known the precise second. Maybe if they had sparkmerged like Breakdown wanted, but Knock Out always put it off in case of a situation like this. The stories of how much agony a surviving conjunx felt when their partner went offline worried him. It made him question his senses. Would the grief drive him to follow Breakdown to the Well? It seemed without the merge it didn't matter. Without his partner, he was nothing.

Failure after failure spread out around his pedes like fresh energon. Megatron would only put up with it for so long. After all, he didn't have Starscream's tact with the old warmonger. Maybe he could end it on his terms instead of some gruesome torture Soundwave would no doubt record for future 'cons.

“Why did you have to leave me?” He asked the stars, watching as they glimmered back at him. “I know I was supposed to be the selfish one in our relationship, but you can't say you were any better, Breakdown.” Anger surged in him again and he struck the dirt, feeling some of the rock beneath crack. “Primus, why did you have to go and fragging do it? I can't do this alone, and you know it! We've always been a team! You and me! That's why we never took that stupid brand! Just us!” His claws dug into the dirt again, though they sought to balance him now as he doubled over, forehelm nearly touching the upper lip of his chassis. “I can't do this alone, Breakdown. I need you...”

His optics opened to stare down at the water rushing around the rocks. A well placed jump, and he could impale himself through the sparkchamber. It could be over. No one appreciated him on the _Nemesis_ anyways. No one would really miss him. Megatron could contact another medic, though they had become a rare breed. He could be with Breakdown again.

“You shouldn't have left me.” He whispered as he moved to stand, watching the rocks to plan his trajectory. “I can't do this alone.”

For all his posturing, all the flamboyance and show of confidence, deep inside, he was a mess of mangled wires and a broken spark. What good was a medic without his orderly? A mech without his sparkmate? Knock Out took a few steps back, readying to leap down to meet his destiny.

“Wait.” A voice filled his audial, careful and soft. “Knock, don't do it.”

His frame froze as the voice filtered through his comm. No image popped up to accompany it, but he knew the voice like he knew the back of his servo.

“Breakdown, where are you?” His tanks lurched, and he held himself. “Are you online?”

“No.” The voice said full of remorse. “Doc, listen to me. I know you hurt. I can feel every agonizin' ache in your spark even if we ain't mated. But, please don't do this.”

Knock Out felt his pedes go out from under him as he crashed down onto his kneeguards. He could hear the scratch of his paint, but he didn't care. His vocalizer clicked and crackled as he tried to reset it.

“Breakdown, I can't do this without you. I need you.” He managed.

“I know you feel that way, Knock, but it's not true. You can do anything you want. You taught me medicine, and I didn't want that.” Breakdown chuckled gently and it brought a dim smile to Knock Out's lipplates. “Just keep on goin'. For me? I'll always be with you.”

“But I want to be with you!” He screamed. “This is worse than the Pit without you, Breakdown! Everything is getting worse and worse, and I just can't take it anymore!”

There was silence over the line a moment, an uneasy crackle soon filled it.

“I thought you were stronger than this.” Breakdown's voice had a grave tone to it. “When I first met you, I knew you were stronger than anyone I'd ever met. You were small for a 'con, but you rumbled with the worst. I admired that. Most called you a coward, but I knew you thought things through. If it'd been you against that glitch, she'd have been the one offline.”

“Breakdown, I-”

“If you want to offline yourself, I guess I really can't stop you. But I won't be here if you do. You've got a lot to keep going for. Prove those slaggers wrong, Knock. Prove a little mech can keep going even when they think he's beat.”  
Knock Out stared out over the cliff side, hanging his helm and closing his optics a moment later.

“You always were the only mech I'd let talk to me like that.” He smiled dimly.

“Frag yeah. I don't want to see you here until you're so old you've rusted through.” He chuckled as Knock Out grimaced at the very notion. “I won't accept it any other way.”

He took a slow vent and blew it out quickly. His optics lifted to the stars again, and he felt an odd weight over his servo, but when he looked, nothing was there.

“Alright then. I'll keep going. For you.” 

“That's my Knock Out.” The weight shifted on his servo, moving to rub the tip of his audial. “I'm sorry I went offline, but I'm never gonna leave you. I love you too much for that.”

Knock Out hummed and sat back. After a moment, he stretched out, shifting his back tires to stare into the sky.  
“I love you, too. I'm sorry I never said it as much as I should have while you were online.”

“Just because you never said it, didn't mean I didn't feel it. You should head back. Goodbye, Knock.”

Knock Out felt his chassis lighten, and as he shifted onto his pedes, transforming back into his alt mode, he felt his whole frame lighten. Breakdown's voice disappeared from the comm, but he felt him. He felt his warmth, his goofy grin. As he moved down the road the way he'd come, calling a groundbridge, he thought he saw the distinct blue of an armored vehicle following behind him. Maybe one day, if they ever brought Cybertron back online, he would see his bruiser again.

**Author's Note:**

> Most of these ficlets I do in a sitting. I don't know why I keep coming back to these two in particular, but I enjoy it. I want to do a full work for these two, and I suppose these short pieces are my way of feeling out the characters and the world.


End file.
